RESOURCES - Article - One is the Loneliest Number

Coaching: One is the Loneliest Number

By Debbie Depp

As that old Three Dog Night song so aptly noted... "One is the loneliest number...". But does it really have to be? Many of us 'baby boomers' are entering a new passage of life marked by grand transformation, so why go it alone? For those of us transitioning from work as work, we have the potential to reshape what the passage of retirement is - embrace personal growth, give back, do something meaningful, leap outside of our industry, or continue to be employed.

Over a decade ago Debbie Depp transitioned from corporate executive to single entrepreneur.

The challenge before us is how can we now harness our skills and energy and find our life's true passion.

Over a decade ago I transitioned from corporate executive to single entrepreneur. How's that for a mid-life crisis? Meetings validated my existence while my business card certified my identity. During months of personal tension and emotional deliberations, I maintained an upbeat air, while agonizing privately over whether this was the right direction to pursue. Grace under pressure was the facade I believed I had to maintain. But doubt persisted nonetheless.

Creating lists like "T" accounts was a good first step. What was I good at and not so good at? What jazzed me and what bored me? The intersection of my capabilities and passions became my sweet spot and pointed me in the right direction.

As Aristotle said, "An unexamined life is not worth living." My experience might have been different had I worked with an objective peer to help me examine my life, bring new perspectives, challenge assumptions, stimulate my thinking and synthesize issues for prioritized action. Ten years later I see the executives I coach in the same situation. They're brilliant and successful. They've read the information on what to do. The big disconnect is on how to do it. Here's where your personal coach can make all the difference.

Coaching is a very powerful growth experience, especially during the transformation to the next phase of our lives. Your coach will provide the bridge between what you have been trained to do and what you want to do.

It can be a rough passage. Coaching will provide you with a confidential advisor, who acts as a sounding board, challenging your thought process, while boosting your self-awareness and self-esteem. Coaching also enhances your ability to thoroughly and thoughtfully examine issues with an open mind. Direct and honest feedback can help pinpoint blind spots, evaluate options, move you through this transition, and keep your work/life balance on track. As an objective third-party, your coach can encourage and inspire, and even help you see yourself through a different lens.

Many executives report that coaching helps renew their energy, enthusiasm and determination. It also helps them review their options for handling difficult issues. One person admitted that he was limited by his belief that he had to think through every problem himself and have all the answers. In another case a CEO in transition worked with a coach to help him gain fresh insights and points of view. "I was attracted to someone who'd been through this before, he says. "Because of my coach's previous top management experience, I felt secure that he could effectively help me take a whole new look at things."

Sometimes the demands of transitioning are overwhelming. As one executive says, "During a period in my life when my career was in transition and I was losing hope - it was the worst phase of my life. Your coaching gave me the focus, confidence and direction that I needed to get what I wanted. Among our discussions there were three guidelines, which showed me the path to success:

Believe in yourself and show confidence. Your confidence is key both to your own efforts and to selling to other people.
Be prepared. Practice your answers to anticipated interview questions in a mirror, so you get your story straight. The first "sale" is always to yourself!
Relentlessly refine your resume. Visualize the job you want and structure your resume and answers toward the desired result. Continually look for opportunities to demonstrate skills that are required for your desired goal.

"The advice you gave me changed my life."

As the old saying goes, 'life is not a dress rehearsal'. This is the time of your life. Fearless, powerful, utterly amazing. So, don't go it alone and Three Dog Night will change its tune to Joy to the World!

Debbie Depp is President of The Fenemore Group. A corporate executive for over two decades, author of Road Map to Profitable Sales, guest lecturer on Entrepreneurial Sales Strategy at the Boston University MBA program, and radio show guest, she coaches executives on how to reposition themselves and transition to find their passion.